Leadership: More Than Words—It’s How You Live
- Marwaan Fredericks
- Dec 4, 2024
- 4 min read
Leadership: More Than Words—It’s How You Live
Everywhere you turn, leadership is the buzzword of the day. It’s in books, podcasts, LinkedIn posts, and motivational talks. We dissect it, reframe it, and break it down into acronyms, steps, and frameworks. But despite all the chatter, something essential is missing. For all the noise about leadership, there’s a scarcity of people truly living it.
Why is that? Why do so many leaders know what to say, yet falter in how they show up?
Let’s start with the hard truth: it’s easy to talk about leadership. It’s easy to put on the polished armor of a leader—memorize a few quotes, share a compelling vision, or craft a flawless LinkedIn post. What’s hard, brutally hard, is the day-in, day-out work of living leadership. Not just when people are watching, not just when it’s convenient, but especially when no one else is in the room.
Living leadership is uncomfortable. It’s messy. It’s vulnerable. It’s not just a hat you put on when you step into a boardroom; it’s the quiet decisions you make about how you treat people, the standards you hold yourself to, and the humility you summon when you’ve fallen short.
Leadership is Who You Are When It’s Hard
Anyone can lead when things are going smoothly. It doesn’t take extraordinary courage to inspire a motivated team with a clear road ahead. True leadership—the kind that people remember, the kind that builds trust and loyalty—is forged in the fire of hard moments.
It’s when a mistake has been made, and you choose accountability instead of blame. It’s when a team member is struggling, and you sit down to really listen, even though your to-do list is screaming at you to move on. It’s when you take the time to mentor someone who might one day outshine you.
These moments aren’t glamorous. They don’t come with applause or recognition. But they are the heartbeat of leadership.
Why Aren’t More Leaders Living It?
Part of the problem is systemic. We’ve built cultures where results often matter more than people. Leaders are praised for hitting quarterly targets but rarely for fostering psychological safety or creating a culture of respect and belonging. The metrics we celebrate don’t always reflect what truly makes a leader great.
Then there’s fear. Living leadership requires vulnerability—the courage to admit when you don’t know the answer, to acknowledge your own growth areas, to lead with empathy even when you’re feeling pressure from above. Many leaders fear that vulnerability will make them look weak, so they retreat into the safety of appearances. They perform leadership instead of living it.
And let’s not ignore burnout. Many leaders are running on empty, managing competing priorities, and doing their best just to stay afloat. When your tank is empty, it’s hard to lead with authenticity and presence.
What Living Leadership Looks Like
Living leadership isn’t about being perfect. In fact, the best leaders aren’t perfect—they’re human. They make mistakes, but they own them. They don’t have all the answers, but they ask the right questions. They don’t shy away from hard conversations, and they never use their position to belittle or control others.
Here’s what living leadership looks like in practice:
Consistency in Character: Leadership isn’t a switch you flip on during work hours. It’s who you are when the stakes are low. Are you kind to the barista who gets your coffee order wrong? Do you treat your colleagues with respect, even when you’re stressed?
Empathy in Action: Living leaders don’t just listen to respond; they listen to understand. They create space for people to be heard, even when it’s inconvenient.
Courage in Vulnerability: It’s easy to talk about transparency, but living it means being honest about your own challenges. It’s showing your team that it’s okay to fail as long as you learn and grow.
A Commitment to Growth: Living leadership requires continuous self-reflection. It’s about asking yourself: Am I leading in a way that aligns with my values? Where do I need to grow? And then doing the hard work to improve.
Serving Over Leading: The best leaders are, at their core, servants. Their goal isn’t to be the smartest person in the room or the loudest voice. It’s to elevate others, to inspire them to believe in their own potential, and to create an environment where everyone can thrive.
From Talking to Living
The gap between talking about leadership and living it is vast, but it’s not unbridgeable.
The solution lies in shifting focus:
From talking about leadership to practicing emotional intelligence daily.
From seeking validation to serving others.
From prioritizing results to creating environments where people can thrive.
It starts with a choice—a conscious decision to lead differently. To focus less on the image of a leader and more on the impact of leadership. To embrace the discomfort of growth and the messiness of humanity.
Leadership isn’t about standing above others. It’s about walking beside them. It’s about showing up, again and again, not just as the leader you want to be, but as the human your team needs you to be.
Let’s stop talking so much about leadership and start living it. Because the world doesn’t need more leaders in theory. It needs leaders in action. Leaders who care, who connect, and who create real change—not with their words, but with their lives.
And that starts with you.
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